In this now moment, as I sit here in the St. Felix office, frantically searching for and subsequently grasping the memories of the devastating layers of the truths that curated my present disposition, I am in complete awe that I am actually, literally, definitively homeless; “beautiful”, “blessed”, “brilliant”, “educated”, “talented”, “Divinely Guided” me.
Several weeks ago I was displaced from my “home” due to a domestic situation with my mother rendering me homeless on the streets of downtown Toronto – streets that I survived on my own as a Black-Intersex-Immigrant-Female-Spiritualist for a week before meeting a gentle, kind soul named Victor at Queen and Spadina. Victor guided me to St. Felix (I had no knowledge of any services as I have never been, nor have I ever researched homelessness before becoming homeless myself).
For the first five days of my homeless journey, I walked from the Waterfront to Yorkville and back daily with stops at Dundas Square, City Hall and Kensington Market among other basic, yet familiar locals as I navigated my new found “freedom” from a toxic environment that breathed perpetual racism, bigotry, discrimination, ignorance and the general stagnation of my soul’s evolution, but nothing in this life is ever truly free. This profound liberation came at the literal expense of every comfort I had ever known, as both my formal and life education unfortunately did not teach me how to bathe in Mcdonalds/park sinks; prevent/heal/control immobilizing blisters; how to make a bed out of life jackets in the rain, or nothing at all; how to protect and preserve my sanity and my feminine disposition as an intersexed human whilst relying on my masculine conditioning for self preservation and protection (an impossible balance, believe me); That being said, God truly does help those who help themselves and though there were moments, people and experiences that stripped me completely of my faith and my believe in both myself and humanity as well as the very point of my existence, the Grace of God, and my unwavering tenacity guided me and led me straight to St. Felix Centre, my refuge in more ways than I could imagine and I am beyond grateful.
Susan, my beloved, you chose to transcend your role as a Supervisor to become my Mother when I had none; Jules you transcended your role as a security guard to become the sister I never had; Francois, my beloved Francois, you have been a Quarter Back of a Case worker walking me through the processes of rebuilding my brighter and better future; and to the entire St. Felix family thank you for unbridled, indiscriminate love, compassion and tangible support.
Needful to say, Thank you for being a loving beacon of light and hope amidst the discriminating and debilitating darkness of poverty and homelessness – This fabulous city and her forgotten children are incredulously blessed and lucky to have 24/7 access to your services and support!
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!